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Despite the clever appropriations of things like tofurky, soyrizo and other animal-friendly re-workings, fledgling vegetarians are eventually forced to accept the fact that it's unquestionably impossible--even with advanced gastronomical technology--to make these meat-free substitutions taste identical to the bloody nectar of the cows, pigs and chickens. Two years ago, various mixtape DJs were hurling beats at Wale like a zookeeper would wildebeest legs to a hungry lion. And, like the lion, the D.C.-bred rapper tore into them with famished abandon. Wale triumphantly gutted these beats of all of their original intent and replaced them with his own stampede of polysyllabic...

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