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Soooo I’ve been watching a whole heckload of The Wire lately, and let me tell ya’ll something, Baltimore: Even though your city and mine (St. Louis, MO) have a lot in common (governmental separation between the city and county, decaying inner city neighborhoods and schools, big fans of The Pogues), I’m scared to death of your city. Pop culture, however close The Wire may be to its apex of quality, has viciously skewed my vision of what I’m sure is a fine town.

In order to combat my HBO contracted ignorance, I think I’m just gonna have to...