News about Bon Iver
By LarryFitzmaurice
So, Bon Iver, I saw your postcard flier thing in the record store a few weeks ago. It was on the counter by the register, placed their nonchalantly, advertising your little April stint around the Midwest like I was supposed to know about it all along, like some marketing ploy to guys like me who arent in-the-know but want to be. "Hey, theres a show at the Lakeshore Theater. Oh, but wait, its tonight." I couldnt help but imagine (as you probably intended) a snooty voice saying "sorry" with a disinterested laugh for the full effect. I was glad I didnt imagine a "sucks to be me," as often happens with you. In hindsight, Im glad it was the snooty voice; I didnt want to go anyway. But whatever, I didnt buy your album. Oh I saw it there; it was right in front. Kind of pricey though, someone thinks pretty highly of themselves... It looked nice, presentable at least. I suppose you have to attract someone. Personally, I dont go for that look anymore. Dolled up in flashy black, and that cursive writing... a little too desperate if you ask me. I saw it at some other stores, too - boy, you get around. But I hear the record is doing well. Thats wonderful, really. I mean, I have heard it, wasnt impressed though. Not my thing, you know? It isnt bad, if you like that sort of thing. No, I need something a little more, a little less about them, someone who calls when theyre in town. Dont take it personally, though. I didnt when I saw those postcard ads. There were a bunch; guess a lot of people didnt want to go to your show. April 10, hmm... where was I? Oh thats right, I was super totally busy probably. I was at a bar with some people from work, and no, they arent work friends - theyre just friends I happen to work with. Mark did that thing with his elbows and... you had to be there. I wouldve taken them to your show, had I known about it, but we all had better things to do that night anyway. A band played at the bar, too. Thats right, and they were just as good, maybe even way good. They were pretty solid, a little blues/jam/bar rock. You wouldnt be into that though; youre sensitive. Jealous? Dont act like it doesnt bother you, Ive heard your songs. Ev-uh-ree thing bothers you. Why dont you go bother up a tree? And whos Emma, anyway?
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